Aside

Michael Phelps on a Boat

30 Jun

I went to a college with a really lax drug policy. My friends got caught smoking inside and they had to take a quiz called eToke and write an essay on fire safety. There was another quiz called eChug…for alcohol. eChug sounded like a good time. Definitely a good way to spend 45 minutes of my life.

I finished the quiz because I wanted to see how many boats I could buy with the amount of money I spent on alcohol every year. 2 boats. I have a lot of use for alcohol and almost no use for a boat. Definitely no use for two boats. In the battle of boats versus alcohol, I have a feeling most people would choose alcohol. Although, two boats is a lot of boats.

I love screenshots. Here are some screenshots from eChug.

When I’m drunk:

Image

I’m not a lonely person. I’ve always had pets.

Image

My ideas don’t usually go over well in real life. They are pretty well-received on the internet, though.

Image

This is the worst. Having eToke ask me if I feel ‘more attractive and sexy’ is worse than having my grandma ask me that. It’s weird because usually the guys I find attractive are far from sexy and the sexy guys look like Michael Phelps, who I think is universally unattractive. For the record, I don’t think Michael Phelps is sexy. Anyway, alcohol does not make me feel more attractive and sexy. Thankfully, it does lower other peoples’ judgement. An attribute of alcohol I’ve made use of.

This final screenshot is for the fellas looking for a “toned” girl. Come at me.

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