Places where I’ve thrown up

20 Jul

1. A garbage can at 72nd street


2. Other garbage cans around Manhattan and probably Brooklyn


3. This shrub at Burger King


4. I think I also threw up in this shrub at Burger King (different time)

5. On a golden retriever

I then slept on the golden retriever. 


6. In a friend’s mouth (oral cavity)


7. In the toilet at this bar

If you are reading this, you know who you are, I did throw up that night. LOL. YOU KISSED A BARF FACE. 


8. Not in this shrub outside of Burger King

9. In a hotel in Mexico


10. All over myself

See number 17


11. In a boot


12. On a black lab


13. Next to Au Bon Pain


14. On a Delta flight


15. At the house of a one-night-stand (probably explains the one-night situation or maybe it was his girlfriend HAHAHHA ugh)

This guy is significantly more attractive than my guy. I can’t tell how old he is? Either like a bad 25 or a really good 40. 


16. On the way to my college graduation (3 times)

P.S. I’m a college graduate. I went to a good school and I don’t have a job. If you are reading this, Emma Stone or Tim Gunn, and need a personal assistant, I can do things. I don’t know how to sew and am not good at carpentry, but I’m very good at the internet and I can sort cords. Also, this is for Tim Gunn, I don’t understand the Project Runway ad campaign with the scissors? Am I like an idiot…or could you explain this? Email me at Thanks!


17. Probably all the time on my mom when I was a baby

Judging solely on the faces of her daughters, you can tell this mom has been barfed on at least 4 times. Fat phase on the right.



18. On the streets of Connecticut


19. On my friend’s brother’s pants

I’d barf on the sexy one.


20. In front of my mom and all of my friends at my 21st birthday party


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