Not having sex: Alternative explanations for Kama Sutra

21 Jul

1. He’s trying to do a soft landing with her. Looks like it’s going to go smoothly

2. THIS IS SOME ROMEO AND JULIET SHIT FO REAL

3. Black Swan/ Kristi Yamaguchi

4. I’m honestly just confused about the logistics on this one, like…where’s the bed? What’s she reaching for? Can he do parkour?

5. There are naked people sleeping in your intestinal tract. A paddle is close by just in case.

Note: this one actually takes place in a canoe, a likely coital locale. 

6. I’m freaking out

7. An odd approach to the heimlich

8. It is difficult to fit two people on an inner tube but I don’t know why they have to be naked. Space saver I guess.

9. Shining this flashlight on my abdomen. Hold me.

10. If you can explain this, please email zoe@madamezooble.com

11. Classic upward-facing dog. Great form! The pillows help.

12. Such a nice day on the beach, it is a shame I forgot a beach chair.

13. Colleen, I have something to tell you. I’m a Smurf.

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